Please know that at any time you may speak directly with an adoption counselor 24/7, confidentially, and with no obligation by calling or texting 316-209-2071 or via our contact form at Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri.
Whether you are feeling ashamed, confused, scared or excited, confident, and ready – we can help you choose adoption. We walk you through the process from start through your pregnancy, and even after you place your baby for adoption with an adoptive family. We have the expertise and the commitment to help.
Adoption Choices is a licensed child placing agency in Kansas and Missouri that serves women facing an unplanned pregnancy and don’t want to parent. We have worked with women in need for many years throughout Kansas, Missouri, and the U.S. On average, we assist to more than 100 women annually who have experienced an unplanned pregnancy!
Our birth mothers come from all walks of life and we are committed to sharing an open, honest, diverse environment. We welcome same sex couple to adopt your child, transracial families, traditional families, and other nontraditional couples. All our families go through a very thorough Home Study.
If you have found this article, you are probably an expectant mother considering adoption as an option for a unplanned, crisis, or unwanted pregnancy. Since we are often asked similar questions, 1) you can trust that you are not alone! And 2) we have compiled some of our most common adoption questions asked by expectant mothers considering adoption with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri.
When you contact Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, an adoption specialist will help you objectively explore adoption to determine if it is the best choice for you and your baby, and they will help answer any of your other adoption questions. If you decide adoption is right for you, your adoption specialist will begin working with you on your adoption plan.
2. How much will adoption cost me?
All of Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri services are free to you, including medical expenses, legal services, counseling services, adoptive family matching services and more. Also, based on your state’s adoption laws, you may be eligible to receive living expenses to help cover your pregnancy-related expenses.
3. Do I choose the adoptive family?
You are in charge of nearly every part of your adoption plan, including choosing the adoptive family to raise your baby. Your adoption specialist will work with you to find exactly the type of family you see your child growing up in.
Whether you envision your child growing up in the city or in the country, in the Midwest or on the West Coast, you choose the adoptive family and thus the life your child will have. Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri families are all unique, and we believe there is a perfect family waiting for every woman who is considering adoption.
Have completed an extensive home study, ensuring the family has completed criminal, medical and financial checks, and that their home is a safe environment for a child.
Are fully committed to adoption.
Are accepting of certain contact with you before and after the adoption, including participating in a conference call, meeting at the hospital, and sending pictures and letters for up to 18 years after the adoption.
We believe it is very important for you to get to know the family you have chosen before proceeding with the adoption. This ensures that it is a good match and that you both share the same goals.
Here are some ways in which you can get to know the adoptive parents:
Conference Calls – A phone conversation between you and the adoptive family with your adoption specialist being present on the call as well.
Email Exchange – A popular way to quickly ask questions or provide updates without having to call one another.
Visits – An in-person meeting between you and the adoptive parents.
Your adoption specialist will help guide you throughout this process of getting to know the adoptive parents and selecting the type of adoption you wish to plan.
6. Can I have a relationship with my baby?
Over the past few decades, adoption has become increasingly “open” in that birth parents have more opportunities than ever to continue a relationship with their child and the adoptive parents.
You have the opportunity to stay a part of your child’s life with:
Pictures and Letters – The adoptive family sends you pictures and letters in the mail or email of your child at least once per year.
Phone Calls/Skype – You may talk to your child and the adoptive parents over the phone or through Skype.
Visits – Many of our adoptive families are interested in open adoption, meaning they are excited for you to maintain a personal relationship with your child.
7. Will my child “hate” me for choosing adoption?
Today, most adopted children love and respect their birth parents for the selfless decision they made, which provided them with the best life possible. Think about it: a child who grows up with loving parents, a comfortable home, a good school and is provided an overall great life is going to be a pretty happy kid.
Why would a child have any ill feelings toward his or her birth parents for making such an awesome decision?
This concern is most likely a product of adoptions prior to the 1980s, which emotionally scarred some adopted children because they weren’t told of their adoption properly. Since adoption has opened up over the past 30 years, today’s adopted children, adolescents and adults often have overwhelmingly positive feelings about their adoption and birth parents.
8. Can I still choose adoption if I have other children?
You may be surprised to know that many of the women we work with already have children.
If this describes your situation, your adoption specialist will guide you on how to approach this delicate topic with your other children, and even on how to include them in the process. We can even provide counseling to your other children, when necessary.
9. Will adoptive parents love my child like a biological child?
Nearly all adoptive parents have tried for years to have children, but they are unable to because of infertility. Because of their struggles, it makes their desire to become parents even stronger.
This is why adopted children often have such happy lives filled with opportunities, because their parents know the feeling of not having children. Once they are blessed with a child, he or she is truly the light of their lives.
And even with families made up of both adopted and biological children, they are all loved and treated equally.
10. When will I feel better and more confident about my adoption decision?
Women often feel better about their adoption decision when they begin looking at adoptive families and finally find the perfect family for their child.
If you pursue an adoption plan, once you select a family and get to know them, the family becomes more “real” and not just a family seen through pictures and video. You are able to see how excited they are to become parents and why they would make such great parents.
Finally, by staying connected after the adoption, you will see that your child is happy and healthy, which makes most birth mothers feel awesome about the life they’ve created and the opportunity they’ve provided for a family.
This is just a sample of the many questions asked by women considering adoption. If you have any other questions about adoption, call us toll free at Toll Free: 1-877-903-4488 to speak with an adoption specialist. Serving expectant women across Kansas and Missouri, you can also contact us online here.
People choose adoption for a variety of reasons. Some people parenting children by birth adopt because of a wish to expand their families and/or provide a home for a child in need. Single people or same sex couples wishing to parent often adopt. Some people adopt because they feel that they are too old to pursue pregnancy and birth. And of course, both singles and couples adopt as a result of primary infertility and secondary infertility. Sometimes the decision to adopt comes easily for a family and sometimes the decision making process in adoption is quite difficult, emotionally challenging, and involves some “soul searching.”
Is Adoption Right for You?
There are many important questions that all prospective adoptive parents can ask themselves to help determine both IF adoption is the right option for them to build their family and WHICH OPTION they may wish to pursue (domestic, international, same race vs. transracial, open adoption, etc.):
Can I accept and love a child that I did not give birth to, who may look nothing like me and who may be very different from me?
Can I cope with little or no information about my child’s birth family, or with difficult information?
How do my extended family members feel about adoption?
What type of child can I love? Can I love a child of a different race? Am I prepared to incorporate my child’s race/culture into the family, ensure that my family has significant, meaningful connections with people of my child’s race/culture, and help my child/family learn how to deal with racism?
Can I respect the significance of the birth parents to my child and provide an open atmosphere in which adoption is freely discussed, questions welcomed and feelings validated?
How do I feel about relationships with birth parents and their families?
Adoption is a one-time event with lifelong implications. Am I committed to my education about adoption to meet my child’s needs over time?
It is important to note that attitudes and feelings about adoption can change over time and with experience, confidence, and continued education. When people decide to pursue adoption and learn about the different options, sorting out the plan that is right for them can be complex. In addition to the above questions, prospective adoptive parents must evaluate how the options fit with each person/couple’s unique priorities, personalities, beliefs, and resources.
Adoptive parents gradually find that, although adoption may have been their second or third choice for building a family, it no longer feels like second best. Until placement occurs, however, feelings of ambivalence may remain because of normal anxiety related to the unknown. The belief that adoption is not second best may not come until after placement; consequently, many people experience the decision as a leap of faith. Connecting with other adoptive parents is extremely beneficial during the waiting period between the decision to adopt and actual placement.
Ambivalence about adopting can also surface in response to many aspects of the adoption process and adoptive family life. The decisions involved in determining which type of adoption to pursue, in addition to the home study process, paperwork, costs, time commitment, uncertainty, invasion of privacy, possible foreign travel, etc. can be daunting or overwhelming for people. Stories about people’s negative experiences with adoption can be frightening. Therefore it is imperative that prospective adopters learn as much as possible about adoption to dispel myths, misinformation, and distorted media presentations. There are many avenues to take to learn about adoption. We recommend:
Read books and articles about adoption.
Attend workshops, webinars, and adoption agency information meetings.
Connect with adoptive family support groups – talk with adoptive parents, adopted adults, and birth parents.
Consult with an Adoption Choices of Arizona specialist.
Adoption can be difficult, sure. But it can also be the most loving experience you ever endure! And a lifetime of family memories!
We are operating full service during this time and will not be shutting down operations. Please let us know how we can help.