Category Archives: Blog

Adoption Types – What’s the difference?

Open Adoption, Semi-Open Adoption, Closed Adoption

Thinking about adoption? Adoption Choices of Missouri is here to help. You may think adoption is adoption, but that isn’t the case. Adoption can take many forms. The three main types of adoption are open adoptions, semi-open adoptions, and closed adoptions. All three are very different in terms of the birth parents’ relationship with the adoptive parents and adoptees so it is important to know which one is right for you. Here is a rundown on the difference between open adoptions, semi-open adoptions, and closed adoptions.

Open Adoption

Open adoptions are adoptions where birth parents and adoptive parents share all of their identifying information, meaning that the birth parents and adoptive parents share their first and last names, medical history, and personal contact information. Open adoptions also allow birth parents and adoptive parents to maintain direct contact with each other. This is great for a birth mother who cannot provide for her child but still wants a relationship with him or her. However, open adoptions aren’t the equivalent of co-parenting. The adoptive parents still have legal parenting rights.

Open adoptions can take many forms. It all depends on the boundaries that the birth parents and adoptive parents agree to at the time of the adoption. For example, Amy, the birth mother, and Brenda, the adoptive mother, could agree to the adoption with the agreement that Brenda will allow the adoptee to visit Amy twice a year. Brenda could also agree to send photos and letters about the adoptee directly to Amy on an occasional basis. Amy could also agree to send Brenda updated medical history as she ages. Amy and Brenda could also change the terms of their adoption agreement as time and circumstances change.

If you are unsure about the type of adoption to choose, Adoption Choices recommends open adoptions. Open adoptions allow the adoptee to ask both their adoptive parents and birth parents about their adoption. This allows adoptees to easily find out why they were placed for adoption and learn more about their birth parents. Open adoptions also make it easy for the adoptee to develop a loving relationship with both their adoptive and birth parents. Open adoptions make it easy for adoptive parents to obtain medical information that may be relevant to their child’s physical or mental health.

Semi-Open Adoption

Semi-open adoptions are adoptions where the birth parents and adoptive parents share non-identifying information with each other. This means they share information like first names and where they live, but don’t share last names or other identifying information. The birth parents and adoptive parents also do not maintain direct contact with each other. Instead, they maintain indirect contact using the adoption agency as an intermediary. Semi-open adoptions offer a combination of openness and privacy.

Semi-open adoptions are great for a birth mother who wants some contact with her child, but doesn’t necessarily want to maintain contact with the adoptive family. In a semi-open adoption, Charlotte, the birth parent, could agree to the adoption if Devin and Daniel, the adoptive parents, agreed to send letters and photographs of their child to their adoption agency, which would in turn send the letters and photographs to Charlotte after removing any identifying information from them. Devin and Daniel could also use the adoption agency to get in contact with Charlotte if their child wants to learn about Charlotte. Charlotte, Devin, and Daniel could also change their agreement to make it more open or more private as time and circumstances change.

Closed Adoption

Closed adoptions are adoptions where birth parents and adoptive parents do not share any information with each other. This means that there is no communication or contact between birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the adoptee as the adoptee grows up. The adoptee can only open his or her adoption records to find out about his or her birth parents after he or she turns 18. Adoptive parents also do not obtain updated medical information from birth parents. They only obtain some non-identifying medical information from the birth mother at the time of the adoption. However, birth parents are still in control of their adoption plan, including choosing the adoptive parents.

Closed adoptions are increasingly rare, but they are appropriate for birth parents who want to move on with their life after placing their child for adoption or adoptive parents who do not want to maintain contact with the biological parents. For example, if Elizabeth, the birth mother, had an unexpected pregnancy that she wanted to keep private, she could place her child for a closed adoption with Francis, the adoptive father. Alternatively, Francis could prefer a closed adoption if he lives in Australia, and does not want to deal with the logistics of having his child maintain contact with Elizabeth, who lives in Canada. Francis could also prefer a closed adoption if Elizabeth has a criminal history and Francis does not want the adoptee to be exposed to it.

Your Adoption, Your Choice

At the end of the day, it is your choice whether to choose an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, or a closed adoption. Neither choice is wrong, but it is best to make an informed choice because it has huge ramifications for all members of the adoption triad. For more information, visit Adoption Choices of Missouri or call us at 1-877-903-4488

 

 

 

Positive Adoption Language

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Words are important.  They are so important that infants as young as 6 months old can understand some words, despite being unable to speak.  Words also convey both facts and feelings. That is why words have a denotation, or literal meaning, and a connotation, or implication. For example, the phrase “bad apple” literally means a rotten apple, but the implication is that the target of that phrase is a bad person. In the context of adoption, different words can lead to a different perception of the adoption process. They can even influence the decision to place a child for adoption. That is why it is so important to use positive adoption language when describing the adoption process.  Here are three quick examples.

1 – The adoption process starts with the decision to place a child for adoption. Placing a child for adoption is a huge decision, but it isn’t a bad one. That is why it is important to use the term “place for adoption” instead of terms like “giving up for adoption.”  Giving up for adoption conveys the notion that adoption is bad, or at the very least worse than raising a biological child, or that the birth mother is giving up on a child by placing it for adoption. The truth is that placing a child for adoption is no worse than raising a biological child. Sometimes placing a child for adoption is the best choice for a child, especially in situations where the birth mother is unable to provide a safe or healthy environment for her child.

The phrase “giving up for adoption” is also harmful to the child, because it implies that the child was unwanted. This isn’t true. Birth parents place their children for adoption for a variety of reasons, and the decision to place a child for adoption requires a lot of courage and responsibility.

2 – After an adoption is finalized, a child has both birth parents and adoptive parents. Neither are a more or less important part of a child’s life. That is why it is important to use the term “birth parent” instead of terms like “real parent”. Birth parent has a neutral connotation that doesn’t denigrate the fact that an adoptive parent has an equally important role in an adoptee’s life. The term “real parent” implies that an adoptive parent is somehow a less important or unreal part of a child’s life. This simply isn’t true. Parents are the people who raise you and make you the person who you are, not simply those with whom you share a genetic link. Both birth parents and adoptive parents play a crucial role in a child’s upbringing, particularly in open adoptions.  They are both a “real” part of that child’s life.

3 – Finally, an adoptive child was adopted, but that doesn’t mean he or she is simply an adopted child. Adopted children are children. The fact that a child was adopted is simply another part of his or her life story, it isn’t the beginning and ending of the story. That is why it is important to acknowledge that a child was adopted when appropriate without referring to him or her as the adopted child. Labeling a child as the adopted child belittles their status as a human being by defining them only by their status as adopted, not by their character traits, hobbies, or interests. This can be detrimental to a child’s self-esteem and can cause them long-term psychological harm. Instead, acknowledge that a child was adopted when appropriate, but simply refer to them as a child in any other circumstance.

It is important to always keep positive adoption language in mind. Simply put, there is a huge difference between positive adoption language and negative adoption language. One conveys the truth about adoption, namely that it is a process where adoptive parents and adoptees form a loving family relationship. The other gives the false impression that an adoptive parent or adoptee is somehow worse than a birth parent or biological child. That being said, the above examples are neither the beginning nor the end of positive adoption language. For more examples of positive adoption language and to find out more about the adoption process, contact Adoption Choices of Missouri or visit us at www.adoptionchoicesofkansasmissouri.com

Is Adoption Right for You? 5 Questions to Ask Yourself

You’ve pictured it a thousand times: You sit holding your child, and, as he or she stares up at you with innocent eyes, you vow to love and nurture him or her until your last breath. There’s no doubt that your desire to adopt burns strongly! But it’s important to ask yourself, “Is adoption right for me?”

This self-exploration is good! Adoption is forever, an irreversible process that requires a lifelong commitment from everyone involved. You should be questioning yourself. In doing so, if you choose to adopt a baby, you’ll know that you do so for the right reasons.

So, how doyou know if adoption is right for you? Adoption Choices of Missouri compiles a list of important questions to ask yourself. We hope they help guide you in determining if adoption is right for you.

  1. Why do I want to adopt?

At first glance, the answer to this question seems easy: You want to adopt because you want a child. But it goes a lot deeper than that! Some people choose to adopt because they can’t conceive a biological child and still feel a strong desire to experience parenthood. In many cases, they’ve tried for years to conceive and explored various fertility treatments but were ultimately unsuccessful. Others want to adopt regardless of whether they can conceive a child. Many adoptive families include both biological and adopted children. Your motivations behind adoption also go beyond whether you can have a biological child — adoption isn’t for everyone, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if you want to adopt because you truly enjoy children and want to be a parent, adoption may be right for you.

  1. Can I handle not being biologically related to my child?

To some people, the idea of adopting a “stranger” and raising him or her as their own child just isn’t something that they’re interested in. They can’t imagine that they would feel a family bond with someone who isn’t related by blood. Others are less extreme on the subject, but find that the pull to go through the experience of carrying and birthing their own child, or just to have a child that carries their genes, is undeniable. It’s important before you start the process of adoption to think about whether you’ll feel sad that your child won’t be a biological part of you and your family. You won’t go through the journey of pregnancy, labor and delivery. Not being biologically related to you doesn’t make an adopted child any less your own; it’s just different. Look at it this way — if you’re married or have a partner, you’re not biologically related to him or her, but you still formed a bond. If you decide that you can’t deal with the idea of having a child who doesn’t share your genes, however, that doesn’t say anything bad about you. It’s far more responsible to explore these feelings now than wait until you’re in the adoption process!

  1. Have I Grieved My Infertility?

If you’ve experienced infertility or pregnancy loss, be certain you have resolved your feelings about this before beginning the adoption process. Adoption doesn’t cure infertility, so if you’re suffering from significant grief, depression, or anxiety, you might want to hold off on your decision to adopt until you’re emotionally ready to move forward. Grieve your loss first. If you consider adoption to be “second best” to having a biological child, think about how that attitude would make an adoptive child feel. And if you think that adopting will heal your troubled relationship or marriage, think about the pressure that you’re putting on a child who deserves to have parents who are in a healthy relationship.

  1. Am I okay with birth parent contact?

When you become a parent, your whole life pretty much revolves around what is in the best interest of your child. Teaching him or her to read and write, deciding when and where he or she should take swimming lessons, choosing a preschool – the list is pretty much endless. And when it comes to the concept of open adoption, there is a growing awareness in the adoption community that the child benefits from establishing and maintaining a connection to his or her birth family. It helps the child to understand “Where did I come from?”, “What is my medical history?”, and “Why did my birth parents place me for adoption?” Having answers to these questions can have a huge impact on a developing child’s sense of identity and provide him or her with a greater sense of wholeness.

  1. What support network do I have?

“Baby blues” don’t just happen to parents who have just given birth. Adoptive parents can also experience depression after their child comes home. The adoption process can be so long and exhausting that perhaps they neglected to focus on what life would be like once a child was finally theirs. While some adoptive parents describe a “love at first sight” experience with their child, that’s not always the case. It may make you feel guilty, but it’s normal to build that relationship slowly. Sometimes, it takes years to create a deep bond. You may find yourself with mixed emotions over your decision to adopt your child and feel anger toward the birth parents. This is why it’s important to build a support network before adopting. If you anticipate a lack of support from family or friends, seek out groups for adoptive parents. Some of them are very specific — for parents who adopt from specific countries, for example. You may also need the services of therapists who are experienced in working with adopted families. If you decide that adoption is right for you, now’s the time to make those decisions and begin your journey. Parenthood, no matter how you get there, is a truly amazing experience.

 

 

2019 Adoption Tax Credit

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With the tax filing season quickly approaching, the Internal Revenue Service recommends taxpayers take time now to determine if they are eligible for important tax credits. Many of our adoptive families will be applying for the Adoption Tax Credit. With that in mind, we have compiled some basic information about the 2019 adoption tax credit

Adoption Tax Credit 101

If you have done any research into adoption financing, you’ve probably heard about the Federal Adoption Tax Credit. But what exactly is this credit, and how does it work?

The Federal Adoption Tax Credit is a non-refundable tax credit that helps families offset the costs of qualifying adoption expenses. Families who paid qualifying adoption expenses in 2019, and owe taxes, may be eligible to benefit from this credit.

According to the IRS, “qualified adoption expenses” can include items like:

  • Reasonable and necessary adoption fees
  • Court costs and attorney fees
  • Traveling expenses related to adoption
  • Other expenses that are directly related to and for the principal purpose of the legal adoption of an eligible child

If you’re not sure whether you are eligible to use the adoption tax credit or if you paid qualifying adoption expenses in 2019, a tax professional will be able to provide more information.

How Much is the 2019 Adoption Tax Credit?

The amount families are eligible to receive from the Federal Adoption Tax Credit depends on a number of factors and will vary based on their unique situation. However, the maximum amount available for the 2019 Federal Adoption Tax Credit is up to $14,080.

The Adoption Tax Credit limit is based on modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) and is recalculated each year based on current cost of living. Income affects how much of the credit parents can claim. For the 2019 Adoption Tax Credit, families with a MAGI below $211,160 can claim full credit. Those with incomes from $211,160 to $251,160 can claim partial credit, and those with incomes above $251,160 cannot claim the credit.

Adoption and taxes can be complicated, and you will likely have questions about the tax benefits available in your specific situation. While we hope you find the information in this post helpful, keep in mind that Adoption Choices does not offer tax advice. Talk to a tax professional for more specific information about how the Adoption Tax Credit can benefit your family.

Claiming the Credit

To claim the credit, taxpayers will complete a 2019 version of IRS Form 8839 (available at irs.gov in early 2020) and submit it with their Form 1040 when they file their 2019 taxes. Most tax software will create this form for you. Before filing, taxpayers should review 2019 Form 8839 instructions (will also be available at www.irs.gov) very carefully to be sure that they apply for the credit correctly and to see if anything has changed. The instructions are needed to calculate how much of the credit will be used.

When claiming the adoption tax credit, you’ll want to be ready with documents such as:

  • The final adoption decree
  • A placement agreement from an authorized agency
  • Court documents
  • A state’s determination for special-needs children, if applicable

 

This is a lot of information, and you probably have more questions about the tax credit for adopting a child in your specific situation. Adoption Choices does not offer tax advice and recommends that you talk to your tax professional for specific information on how the Adoption Tax Credit can benefit your family.

Tips on Caring for a Drug-Exposed Baby

Previously, you were in the midst of an inner battle: Should I adopt this child, a child who has been exposed to drugs during his or her birth mother’s pregnancy? In the end, you committed. You’re now ready to love and parent this child for the rest of your life, no matter the difficulty. But what about the next step – caring for him or her post birth?

You need answers! Questions are steadily running through your mind. How will my child behave? What can I do to make him or her more comfortable? What on Earth do I need to prepare for post birth life?

Don’t fret! Adoption Choices of Missouri knows that children suffering from withdrawal are often extremely irritable and have a difficult time being calmed. That’s why we found these 5 tips for caring for your drug-exposed baby.

  1. Research, research, research.

Talk to professionals – pediatricians, neonatologists or genetic counselors. They can and will help you feel more at ease!

  1. Swaddle your baby.

Snugly wrapping infants may also reduce their symptoms. Swaying and rocking the swaddled newborns can help calm their symptoms as well.

  1. Reduce stimuli.

Keeping a newborn with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) in a dimly lit room with little activity and noise may reduce his or her withdrawal symptom discomfort.

  1. Stay inside.

Keeping infants born with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome in the room with their mothers rather than transferring them to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) may reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms and hospital length of stay.

  1. Breastfeed your baby.

 Breastfed infants with NAS tend to require less medication and spend fewer days in the hospital!Although you’re an adoptive mother, you may be ableto breastfeed your child by stimulating your breasts to produce milk. You can do this by taking hormones, such as prolactin and oxytocin, or using more natural methods.

Caring for a Drug-Exposed Baby

Learn from other parents who have adopted children with gestational drug exposure, talk with one or more pediatrician, read about the risks and realities discussed in recent studies, and ask adoption professionals what they’ve learned from their experience with these types of adoptions.

Also, remember that every situation is unique, with its own merits and drawbacks! If problems arise, be aggressive in seeking professional assessments and help. Early intervention can make a difference in your drug-exposed baby’s life!

3 Things Birth Mothers Want Their Children to Know

As an adoptee, you’ve wondered about the why’s of your adoption. Why was I placed for adoption? Why couldn’t my birth mother keep me? Why were my adoptive parents chosen? Why am I struggling with my identity? All in all, you were brought into this world and then raised in it in an “unconventional” way. The curiosity you feel is only natural.

While your adoptive parents are able to satisfy most of your questions, there are some left unanswered. Specifically those regarding your birth mother. Whether your adoption is open, semi-open, or closed determines the level of contact you have with her. Regardless, you still wonder. What happened? Did she not want me? Does she even love me? Maybe you have burning questions for her that you’re too afraid to ask. Maybe you can’t ask her because you don’t see her.

Either way, Adoption Choices of Missouri has the answers you seek. While no two birth mothers are alike, they share common threads. Here are the top three things birth mothers want their children to know.

  1. They Didn’t Choose Adoption for Lack of Love

Many birth mothers carry around the fear that their children feel unloved. That they grew up believing they were unwanted instead of adored. In reality, birth moms chose adoption because they wanted the best for their child. They knew that they couldn’t offer him or her the life he or she deserved! Deciding to let their child live everyday life with another family was a sacrifice. Their hormones were all geared up to be mothers, and they quite literally denied their bodies and minds something they were physically and mentally prepared to do and be.

Never for a moment were you placed for adoption because you were unloved or unwanted. Your birth mother chose to place you for adoptionbecause she made sure to put your needs above her own. She neverstops thinking about you, nor does she stop loving you. Try not to let society and personal doubt skew this beautiful act, one that, in actuality, is full of nothing but love and meaningful consideration.

  1. They Still Grieve

Most birth moms, in time, find peace and acceptance with their decision. They’re happy that their child is being raised by loving parents. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t still grieve the loss of their child. There are so many joys in adoption, but there are also losses experienced by everyone. One of those losses is the loss of the birth mother’s opportunity to raise her child. That loss never goes away, and birth moms grieve in different ways, and in their own time.

Deciding to place you for adoption was no easy feat for your birth mother. Understand that while she may not regret her decision, she still grieve the loss of you. She knows she gave you a better life, a life you deserved. She only wishes she was the one able to offer it to you.

  1. They Will Always Honor The Adoptive Family

Birth mothers don’t love their child and then refuse to honor his or her adoptive family. If anything, they respect the family for stepping in during a time of need. When birth moms place their children for adoption, they give up a lot with that decision. For them to be angry with the adoptive family simply because they’re in pain and grieving loss would be contradictory. Do birth mothers hope that their child’s adoptive family has integrity with their promises? Yes. Do they hope the family speaks well of them? Yes. But as long as their child’s adoptive family is raising said child and taking care of him or her, birth moms will honor that love forevermore.

Your birth mother hand-picked your adoptive family. There’s a reason she chose them to raise you! She will always honor and appreciate them for that. Just as she’ll always love you.

Birth Mothers Want Their Children to Know

Your birth mother made the hardest decision of her life when she chose to place you for adoption. She loves you. She continues to grieve the loss of you. You are, and always will be, her world.

Adoption Choices of Missouri is ready to walk your adoption journey with you. Call us Toll Free at: 1-877-903-4488

 

 

 

The Basics of Adoption

As you face an unplanned pregnancy, you’re considering your next steps. While you’ve contemplated placing your child for adoption, there are several questions sitting between you and your final decision: What is adoption? Who chooses adoption? And why should I consider it as an option?

Adoption Choices of Kansas & Missouri is here to help by giving you the information you need! Below, we’ve broken down the need-to-know basics of adoption.

What is Adoption?

Adoption is a way of providing the security, permanency and love of a new family when it is not possible for you, the expectant parent, to raise your child. It’s a selfless act of love. One in which legal parental responsibility is transferred from you to your child’s adoptive parents.

To define adoption and what it means to the people involved, however, is trickier. If you ask anyone affected by adoption what it means to them, you’ll likely get a personal answer that reflects their own experience with adoption. So, there’s really no singular definition of adoption — just the understanding that it’s a celebrated way of creating a family. You can define adoption for yourself!

Why Choose Adoption?

Whatever you’re facing in life, whatever is preventing you from raising your child in a healthy environment, the decision you make when facing an unplanned pregnancy is a sacrifice. Adoption Choices of Kansas & Missouri knows that! In an ideal world, you would be able to keep your child. Adoption, though, is an option that allows your child to have the life you always wanted for him or her.

Too often, expectant parents are made to feel that placing their child for adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In reality, choosing to place is the best way to make those temporary problems notpermanent.As long as you do the right thing for your child in the circumstances you’re in, you can’t make the wrong decision.

Who Adopts?

Upon delving further into the adoption world, you may begin to wonder what types of people choose adoption when trying to grow their families. The answer is simple! Adoptive parents come from all walks of life: older and younger couples, homosexual couples, single parents, families with other biological children, interracial and transracial families, and religious and non-religious families. Anyone who wants to grow his or her family and has been deemed a fit parent by a professional can adopt a child.

Adoptive families are just as unique and diverse as traditional families, and the options for the kind of home your child can have are expansive. If and when you begin looking for an adoptive family, you will likely find just the kind of family you want your child to grow up with.

Knowing the Basics of Adoption: It’s a Great Option

Over the last few decades, adoption has transformed into an increasingly positive experience for everyone involved. From choosing a family to deciding how much contact to have with your child, you will be in charge of the entire process, and you will have access to support and guidance the entire way. By being actively involved in the adoption process, you can feel certain that you are not “giving up” your child: you are giving him or her the gift of a family.

Adoption with Adoption Choices of Kansas & Missouri is an option for you! Call us Toll Free: 1-877-903-4488

Local Missouri Adoption Agency

Facing an unplanned, unexpected, or unwanted pregnancy? Considering adoption?

At Adoption Choices of Missouri, we understand this is a very stressful and confusing time for you. We are not here to convince you what you should do; this is your decision and yours alone. Rather, our compassionate team is here to guide and support you through the adoption process should you decide that this is the right choice for you and your baby.

Exploring our agency, you will read (or hear) the terms adoption social worker, adoption specialist, or caseworker. In the big picture, these are one in the same, the professional support we provide to our birth mothers. We will discuss the differences of each of these later. But what’s most important for you to know is that Adoption Choices has this staff available for you LOCALLY, on the ground, willing and ready to come to you.

Setting us apart from other agencies, our adoption professionals are local. We know what resources are available to our birth parents in their city and where to find them. Adoption Choices is focused on the needs of the birth parentswhereas other agencies cater to the adoptive parents. We take a far more hands-on approach with face-to-face support throughout the entire adoption journey. And beyond.

Your caseworker support continues after placement. We believe post-placement support is a critical part of your recovery and healing. Your adoption story doesn’t end at the hospital so neither does our support. While counseling is no magic fix, it can make a huge difference in your emotional stability during and after pregnancy and placement.

What else our adoption social worker, adoption specialist, or caseworker can do for you:

I. We are local so we can come to you, your home, your work, or even to the hospital. Since we are near, we are flexible to your schedule.

II. Your counselor or social worker can help you make important decisions for your baby throughout the process and coordinate the services you need. They will be with you *literally right next to you!* every step of the way as you create your adoption plan, find an adoptive family, and go through the legal process of placing your baby for adoption.

III. We can relate to your situation – we have worked with many birth mothers from all different backgrounds and we know that every woman needs varying types and amounts of emotional support. We provide individualized support based on your unique needs.

There is a lot to think about when you place your child for adoption. This is a big decision, and sometimes you will feel secure in your choice while other moments will be more uncertain. Being your support, your advocate, your go to during this period, is our commitment to you. If you have questions, are confused, feel like you need someone to talk to, the adoption counselors at Adoption Choices of Missouri will be at your disposal.

Call us to start your adoption journey: 877-903-4488 or Text Us at 316-209-2071

We are the team on your side!

 

The Adoption Process

The adoption process can feel daunting, overwhelming, confusing, and scary. You are not alone! We are here to help. In the most simplistic way, here is a step by step guide for adopting with Adoption Choices of Missouri and Kansas

STEP 1 | CONTACT ADOPTION CHOICES OF MISSOURI and Kansas
Call Us 877-903-4488
Text Us 316-209-2071

STEP 2 | SCHEDULE INITIAL MEETING
Birth Parent Counselor can come to you

STEP 3 | COMPLETE PAPERWORK
Birth Parent Counselor will provide you with all the necessary paperwork. Please bring a proof of pregnancy with you.

STEP 4 | FIND A DOCTOR
The matching process begins

STEP 5 | REVIEW FAMILY PROFILES
Birth Parent Counselor will bring you profiles to choose from. Don’t feel you have the right family? We’ll get more profiles.

STEP 6 | CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’RE MATCHED!
Birth Parent Counselor will help secure a place for you to live (if you need it).

STEP 7 | FAMILY INTRODUCTION
Birth Parent Counselor will help you schedule a conference call with your adoptive family. And maybe even a visit!

STEP 8 | STAY IN TOUCH WITH BIRTH PARENT COUNSELOR
Attend doctor’s appointments. Communicate with your adoptive family.

STEP 9 | YOUR DUE DATE!
Birth Parent Counselor will be present to advocate for you at the hospital.

STEP 10 | BIRTH OF CHILD
The baby will leave the hospital with the adoptive family. Birth Parent Counselor will schedule a court date for you to give your consent.

STEP 11 | GOODBYE DINNER
Goodbye Dinner with adoptive family (if you want). You should receive pictures and updates at 1 month. Expenses will continue to be paid for 1 month after delivery.

You can contact us at anytime during your pregnancy and begin an adoption process. Our counselors are committed to the women we serve no matter what decision they make. Adoption Choices of Missouri is dedicated to helping women find hope in what seems like a hopeless situation.

Top 10 Questions by Women Considering Adoption

If you have found this article, you are probably an expectant mother considering adoption as an option for a unplanned, crisis, or unwanted pregnancy. Since we are often asked similar questions, 1) you can trust that you are not alone! And 2) we have compiled some of our most common adoption questions asked by expectant mothers considering adoption with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri.

1. If I contact Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, am I obligated to choose adoption?

When you contact Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, an adoption specialist will help you objectively explore adoption to determine if it is the best choice for you and your baby, and they will help answer any of your other adoption questions. If you decide adoption is right for you, your adoption specialist will begin working with you on your adoption plan.

2. How much will adoption cost me?

All of Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri services are free to you, including medical expenses, legal services, counseling services, adoptive family matching services and more. Also, based on your state’s adoption laws, you may be eligible to receive living expenses to help cover your pregnancy-related expenses.

3. Do I choose the adoptive family?

You are in charge of nearly every part of your adoption plan, including choosing the adoptive family to raise your baby. Your adoption specialist will work with you to find exactly the type of family you see your child growing up in.

Whether you envision your child growing up in the city or in the country, in the Midwest or on the West Coast, you choose the adoptive family and thus the life your child will have. Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri families are all unique, and we believe there is a perfect family waiting for every woman who is considering adoption.

4. How does Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri screen adoptive families?

Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri pre-screens all of our adoptive families to ensure that they:

  • Have completed an extensive home study, ensuring the family has completed criminal, medical and financial checks, and that their home is a safe environment for a child.
  • Are fully committed to adoption.
  • Are accepting of certain contact with you before and after the adoption, including participating in a conference call, meeting at the hospital, and sending pictures and letters for up to 18 years after the adoption.

Finally, Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri will provide you with a wealth of knowledge about any family that matches your preferences, so you can perform your own “screening process.”

5. Can I get to know the adoptive family?

We believe it is very important for you to get to know the family you have chosen before proceeding with the adoption. This ensures that it is a good match and that you both share the same goals.

Here are some ways in which you can get to know the adoptive parents:

  • Conference Calls – A phone conversation between you and the adoptive family with your adoption specialist being present on the call as well.
  • Email Exchange – A popular way to quickly ask questions or provide updates without having to call one another.
  • Visits – An in-person meeting between you and the adoptive parents.

Your adoption specialist will help guide you throughout this process of getting to know the adoptive parents and selecting the type of adoption you wish to plan.

6. Can I have a relationship with my baby?

Over the past few decades, adoption has become increasingly “open” in that birth parents have more opportunities than ever to continue a relationship with their child and the adoptive parents.

You have the opportunity to stay a part of your child’s life with:

  • Pictures and Letters – The adoptive family sends you pictures and letters in the mail or email of your child at least once per year.
  • Phone Calls/Skype – You may talk to your child and the adoptive parents over the phone or through Skype.
  • Visits – Many of our adoptive families are interested in open adoption, meaning they are excited for you to maintain a personal relationship with your child.

7. Will my child “hate” me for choosing adoption?

Today, most adopted children love and respect their birth parents for the selfless decision they made, which provided them with the best life possible. Think about it: a child who grows up with loving parents, a comfortable home, a good school and is provided an overall great life is going to be a pretty happy kid.

Why would a child have any ill feelings toward his or her birth parents for making such an awesome decision?

This concern is most likely a product of adoptions prior to the 1980s, which emotionally scarred some adopted children because they weren’t told of their adoption properly. Since adoption has opened up over the past 30 years, today’s adopted children, adolescents and adults often have overwhelmingly positive feelings about their adoption and birth parents.

8. Can I still choose adoption if I have other children?

You may be surprised to know that many of the women we work with already have children.

If this describes your situation, your adoption specialist will guide you on how to approach this delicate topic with your other children, and even on how to include them in the process. We can even provide counseling to your other children, when necessary.

9. Will adoptive parents love my child like a biological child?

Nearly all adoptive parents have tried for years to have children, but they are unable to because of infertility. Because of their struggles, it makes their desire to become parents even stronger.

This is why adopted children often have such happy lives filled with opportunities, because their parents know the feeling of not having children. Once they are blessed with a child, he or she is truly the light of their lives.

And even with families made up of both adopted and biological children, they are all loved and treated equally.

10. When will I feel better and more confident about my adoption decision?

Women often feel better about their adoption decision when they begin looking at adoptive families and finally find the perfect family for their child.

If you pursue an adoption plan, once you select a family and get to know them, the family becomes more “real” and not just a family seen through pictures and video. You are able to see how excited they are to become parents and why they would make such great parents.

Finally, by staying connected after the adoption, you will see that your child is happy and healthy, which makes most birth mothers feel awesome about the life they’ve created and the opportunity they’ve provided for a family.

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This is just a sample of the many questions asked by women considering adoption. If you have any other questions about adoption, call us toll free at Toll Free: 1-877-903-4488 to speak with an adoption specialist. Serving expectant women across Kansas and Missouri, you can also contact us online here.

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