Tag Archives: why choose adoption

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The Basics of Adoption

As you face an unplanned pregnancy, you’re considering your next steps. While you’ve contemplated placing your child for adoption, there are several questions sitting between you and your final decision: What is adoption? Who chooses adoption? And why should I consider it as an option?

Adoption Choices of Kansas & Missouri is here to help by giving you the information you need! Below, we’ve broken down the need-to-know basics of adoption.

What is Adoption?

Adoption is a way of providing the security, permanency and love of a new family when it is not possible for you, the expectant parent, to raise your child. It’s a selfless act of love. One in which legal parental responsibility is transferred from you to your child’s adoptive parents.

To define adoption and what it means to the people involved, however, is trickier. If you ask anyone affected by adoption what it means to them, you’ll likely get a personal answer that reflects their own experience with adoption. So, there’s really no singular definition of adoption — just the understanding that it’s a celebrated way of creating a family. You can define adoption for yourself!

Why Choose Adoption?

Whatever you’re facing in life, whatever is preventing you from raising your child in a healthy environment, the decision you make when facing an unplanned pregnancy is a sacrifice. Adoption Choices of Kansas & Missouri knows that! In an ideal world, you would be able to keep your child. Adoption, though, is an option that allows your child to have the life you always wanted for him or her.

Too often, expectant parents are made to feel that placing their child for adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In reality, choosing to place is the best way to make those temporary problems notpermanent.As long as you do the right thing for your child in the circumstances you’re in, you can’t make the wrong decision.

Who Adopts?

Upon delving further into the adoption world, you may begin to wonder what types of people choose adoption when trying to grow their families. The answer is simple! Adoptive parents come from all walks of life: older and younger couples, homosexual couples, single parents, families with other biological children, interracial and transracial families, and religious and non-religious families. Anyone who wants to grow his or her family and has been deemed a fit parent by a professional can adopt a child.

Adoptive families are just as unique and diverse as traditional families, and the options for the kind of home your child can have are expansive. If and when you begin looking for an adoptive family, you will likely find just the kind of family you want your child to grow up with.

Knowing the Basics of Adoption: It’s a Great Option

Over the last few decades, adoption has transformed into an increasingly positive experience for everyone involved. From choosing a family to deciding how much contact to have with your child, you will be in charge of the entire process, and you will have access to support and guidance the entire way. By being actively involved in the adoption process, you can feel certain that you are not “giving up” your child: you are giving him or her the gift of a family.

Adoption with Adoption Choices of Kansas & Missouri is an option for you! Call us Toll Free: 1-877-903-4488

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Adoptive Family: Choosing Adoption

People choose adoption for a variety of reasons. Some people parenting children by birth adopt because of a wish to expand their families and/or provide a home for a child in need. Single people or same sex couples wishing to parent often adopt. Some people adopt because they feel that they are too old to pursue pregnancy and birth. And of course, both singles and couples adopt as a result of primary infertility and secondary infertility. Sometimes the decision to adopt comes easily for a family and sometimes the decision making process in adoption is quite difficult, emotionally challenging, and involves some “soul searching.”

Is Adoption Right for You?

There are many important questions that all prospective adoptive parents can ask themselves to help determine both IF adoption is the right option for them to build their family and WHICH OPTION they may wish to pursue (domestic, international, same race vs. transracial, open adoption, etc.):

  • Can I accept and love a child that I did not give birth to, who may look nothing like me and who may be very different from me?
  • Can I cope with little or no information about my child’s birth family, or with difficult information?
  • How do my extended family members feel about adoption?
  • What type of child can I love? Can I love a child of a different race? Am I prepared to incorporate my child’s race/culture into the family, ensure that my family has significant, meaningful connections with people of my child’s race/culture, and help my child/family learn how to deal with racism?
  • Can I respect the significance of the birth parents to my child and provide an open atmosphere in which adoption is freely discussed, questions welcomed and feelings validated?
  • How do I feel about relationships with birth parents and their families?
  • Adoption is a one-time event with lifelong implications. Am I committed to my education about adoption to meet my child’s needs over time?

It is important to note that attitudes and feelings about adoption can change over time and with experience, confidence, and continued education. When people decide to pursue adoption and learn about the different options, sorting out the plan that is right for them can be complex. In addition to the above questions, prospective adoptive parents must evaluate how the options fit with each person/couple’s unique priorities, personalities, beliefs, and resources.

Adoptive parents gradually find that, although adoption may have been their second or third choice for building a family, it no longer feels like second best. Until placement occurs, however, feelings of ambivalence may remain because of normal anxiety related to the unknown. The belief that adoption is not second best may not come until after placement; consequently, many people experience the decision as a leap of faith. Connecting with other adoptive parents is extremely beneficial during the waiting period between the decision to adopt and actual placement.

Adoption Education

Ambivalence about adopting can also surface in response to many aspects of the adoption process and adoptive family life. The decisions involved in determining which type of adoption to pursue, in addition to the home study process, paperwork, costs, time commitment, uncertainty, invasion of privacy, possible foreign travel, etc. can be daunting or overwhelming for people. Stories about people’s negative experiences with adoption can be frightening. Therefore it is imperative that prospective adopters learn as much as possible about adoption to dispel myths, misinformation, and distorted media presentations. There are many avenues to take to learn about adoption. We recommend:

  • Read books and articles about adoption.
  • Attend workshops, webinars, and adoption agency information meetings.
  • Connect with adoptive family support groups – talk with adoptive parents, adopted adults, and birth parents.
  • Consult with an Adoption Choices of Arizona specialist.

Adoption can be difficult, sure. But it can also be the most loving experience you ever endure! And a lifetime of family memories!

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