Pregnant & Considering Adoption
What’s the Difference Between Placing My Baby Up for Adoption and Giving up My Baby for Adoption?
Putting my baby up, placing my baby, giving up my baby – no matter what terminology is used, if you are pregnant and considering adoption, know that 1) you are not alone, 2) nothing is wrong with you, and 3) we are here to help you every step of the way. We know how important this decision is for you. Choosing adoption takes an incredible amount of love, courage, and selflessness.
As the best adoption agencies in Kansas and Missouri, we are committed to providing you the support, counseling, and guidance that you need. That you deserve! It’s not your job to become an expert in the adoption process – it’s ours!
It is helpful for you to understand what adoption means for you, for your child, and to understand how your adoption process will work and that’s why we work one on one with you and in fact, you are in total control of your adoption plan. When you work with Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri, you will have your own adoption specialist to guide you through the how’s, what’s, and why’s. Together you will establish a budget for financial support, choose the adoptive family that will adopt your child, decide the level of openness you wish to have with the family and baby, and discuss post-placement support and communications.
Below is a tour through the basic steps of the infant adoption process for a pregnant woman considering adoption in Kansas or Missouri. We are a professional, licensed adoption agencies serving pregnant women and couples with compassion and understanding.
Before we begin, please know that at any time you may speak directly with an adoption counselor 24/7, confidentially, and with no obligation by calling or texting 316-209-2071 in Kansas, calling or texting 816-527-9800 in Missouri or via our contact form.
We have worked with hundreds of expectant women in your exact situation and we understand your feelings, fears, and questions during this difficult time. We will talk to you honestly about your options and will provide you with adoption resources to help you make the best decision for your situation.
If you do decide to take the next step toward adoption, here’s how the adoption process will work:
Unplanned Pregnancy Help
The Adoption Process in Missouri and Kansas
STEP 2 | SCHEDULE INITIAL MEETING
We are excited to meet you and understand your unique circumstance. Our Birth Parent Counselor can come to you, can meet you somewhere comfortable, or we can meet on the phone or video. Please provide a proof of pregnancy at this time.
STEP 3 | CREATE YOUR ADOPTION PLAN
Your Birth Parent Counselor will provide you with all the necessary paperwork to create your adoption plan. Your adoption plan will include making important decisions regarding the adoption as well as a financial budget for your needs. Through the planning it is also important that you find a doctor and begin prenatal care.
STEP 4 | REVIEWING AND CHOOSING AN ADOPTIVE FAMILY
The matching process begins! Your Birth Parent Counselor will bring you adoptive family profiles to choose from. Once matched, you will begin receiving financial support and a secure place to live (if you need it). Depending on the level of openness, you can meet the adoptive family and maintain communications throughout your pregnancy.
STEP 5 | YOUR DUE DATE!
You will create a birth hospital plan prior to your delivery date. You will make decisions about who will be at the hospital, holding and naming the baby, as well as your care. Your Birth Parent Counselor will be present to advocate for you at the hospital. The baby will leave the hospital with the adoptive family. You will also give your final consent.
STEP 6 | POST-PLACEMENT SUPPORT
You and the adoptive family will have agreed to post-placement communication which will vary and at a minimum include pictures and letters via a web-based program. Expenses will continue to be paid for 6 weeks after delivery. Counseling and emotional support will be available to you as needed.
Giving up My Baby for Adoption in Difficult Circumstances
If you are homeless and pregnant and considering adoption, we can help. We can make sure you are in a safe environment with a roof over your head.
If you already have a family and you know adoption is the right choice for this unplanned pregnancy, we can help. Many families choose adoption. We can help work out the details of creating an adoption plan if you have a family and you know another baby is not an option.
If you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, we can help. We have counselors and programs in place. We will not judge you and you will not get in trouble. In fact, we can help put an adoption plan in place before birth and risk your baby being taken away and put in the system. Adoption might be a better option.
If you are a teenager or college student and you know parenting a child is not an option right now, we can help. Young women may find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy; parenting nor terminating the pregnancy are options. Adoption is a loving healthy choice! One in which you can live out your education and your plans for yourself while giving your child the life he/she deserves.
If you are in an abusive situation, do not know who the father of the baby is, have been sexually assaulted, or you not ready to be a single parent, we can help. We can help work with an unknown or unresponsive birth father — adoption is still an option for you and we can help make the plans and take necessary legal steps.
We will never judge you nor your reason for choosing adoption. Instead we will support you and ensure your needs are met, you are confident, understand the adoption process, legally supported, and protected through your pregnancy and after the adoption placement.
Choosing Adoption When the Baby is Already Born
If you gave birth and you are in the hospital or have already arrived home with your new baby and you feel that parenting this child is really not an option, we can still help. Adoption is always an option with our adoption center.
Many prospective birth parents don’t consider adoption until after they’ve given birth and brought their new child home. You can still create an adoption plan, choose the adoptive family, and even choose an open, semi-open, or closed adoption plan.
Should I Put My Baby Up for Adoption?
Placing a child for adoption is a very serious decision that can change the rest of your life as well as the life of your child. Adoption leads to a complete relinquishing of parental rights and offers no guarantee that the biological parents will be able to interact with their child in the future. Some parents find themselves in situations where they are unable to provide for their child, be it financially or emotionally, and adoption is the best option. When this occurs, adoption can lead to a better life for the child. As all decisions in life, there are pros and cons to adoption.
1. You want to give your child a chance at a happy life. This is perhaps one of the most common reasons for adoption. Adoption gives a pregnant woman’s child the chance to grow up with a loving, supportive family and have all of the opportunities she wants them to have.
2. You want to fulfill someone else’s dream of becoming a parent. When a woman is considering her unplanned pregnancy options, it’s common to think of adoption in terms of “giving up.” In fact, many women ask, “Why should I give my baby upfor adoption?” But when you “give up” for adoption, you’re not “giving up” anything at all. Instead, you are giving a gift; one that will forever change the lives of another family.
That’s a big reason why “giving up” a baby for adoption is the best choice for many women; when a woman knows that she can’t parent her own child, she may choose adoption to give that priceless gift to someone who desperately dreams of becoming a parent. There are many hopeful parents waiting for a prospective birth mother to choose them. As difficult a decision as it may be, you may choose to change someone’s life forever by letting them raise your baby.
3. You want to feel like you’ve done the right thing. While there is no “right” decision when it comes to your unplanned pregnancy, some women believe that making the sacrifice to carry their baby to term and place them with another family will provide them a sense of purpose during this confusing time in their life. For some women, adoption is a way to feel positive about their unplanned pregnancy, giving them a sense of fulfillment and pride. Remember, however, the only “right” unplanned pregnancy option is the one that is right for you. Adoption is the “better” choice only if you think you will feel better about this choice than you would about any other.
4. You worry that you will regret another decision. Generally, if you have reservations about which choice to make, it may not be the right choice for you. It’s understandable to need time before you can make this momentous decision, but if you think you may eventually regret your choice, that may be a big enough reason for you to decide on another path.
5. You have religious beliefs. If she has strong religious values, those could be a reason why a mother should choose adoption over other options.
6. Adoption gives answers to a birth mother’s “what ifs.” Open adoption gives her the opportunity through which she can see her child grow up and know who they end up being. One of the greatest advantages of adoption is the chance to know your child and watch him or her grow up.
7. Adoption costs nothing to prospective birth mothers. Another reason that pregnant women consider adoption is because it’s the unplanned pregnancy option that’s completely free.
8. Prospective birth mothers can get financial help during their pregnancy and adoption process. There are often other financial benefits of adoption. For women who have fallen on hard financial times during their pregnancy, adoption can provide them additional financial assistance during the time they are pregnant. By placing a child for adoption, you may receive living expenses for things like rent, groceries, gas, and more.
9. You can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy. Deciding which unplanned pregnancy option is best for you and your baby can be a difficult decision to make, so you don’t want to rush into one before you’re sure it’s right for you. Adoption can be a decision you make at any time in your pregnancy. If you think you need more time to decide whether to parent your child, you might want to consider adoption, as you can place your baby for adoption even after they’re born.
10. You can have continued contact with your baby through open adoption. It may reassure you to know that when you choose to place your child for adoption, you will be able to see them grow up happy and healthy; and even be able to have a relationship with them. Many birth mothers have a special relationship with their baby’s adoptive parents and their baby, and it’s immensely helpful for the emotional healing process after adoption. For many women, this is one of the greatest emotional benefits of adoption.
11. Adoption does not become permanent until signing the legal documents after baby’s birth, so there is time to consider options. When you decide on adoption, you will always have the chance to change your mind throughout the process, up until you sign your legal consent after your baby’s birth. If you change your mind, that’s always okay.
12. Adoption allows mothers to meet, hold and get to know their babies. You may already feel an emotional connection to your baby, and adoption can be a hard decision to make. When you place your child for adoption, you can meet the baby you give birth to, spend as much time as you’d like in the hospital with them, and get to know who they are in anticipation of who they will become.
13. Adoption can be kept confidential if a woman does not want certain people in her life to know. If the reason you’re considering options is because you don’t want people to know about your unplanned pregnancy, it’s important to know that you can certainly have a secret adoption. If necessary, our adoption specialists can help provide the resources needed to help you keep your adoption confidential. Whatever your preferences are for informing others of your pregnancy, our specialists can help.
14. Adoption is still possible if you have a complicated relationship with your baby’s father. It’s not uncommon for pregnant women to make their choice based on they’re concern of the baby ending up with an unsupportive birth father. However, adoption may still be a possibility in this case. We encourage you to call or text an adoption specialist IN KANSAS: (316) 209 2071 IN MISSOURI: (816) 527-9800 to discuss your individual situation and options in more detail.
15. Adoption allows you to experience pregnancy. When you choose adoption, you will experience all the highs and lows of pregnancy. For some women, this is an experience they desire to have, especially if they have concerns about their ability to get pregnant again after this pregnancy.
16. When you inquire about adoption, you get accurate, objective information. Unfortunately, when you pursue abortion first, the abortion clinics that you contact may not provide objective and factual information. Because it is such a controversial topic, some professionals and even state legislatures have made it so pregnant women are given certain information before completing pregnancy termination – and not all of this information is factual or unbiased. However, when you contact an adoption professional like Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri , we will provide objective information so you can make an educated decision about what’s best for you.
17. Choosing adoption gives you 24/7 support through your emotional journey. Choosing adoption can give you the access to trained counselors 24 hours a day. Our adoption agencies will make sure you receive the counseling you need as you decide whether adoption is right for you, during the adoption process and even after the adoption is complete – completely for free.
18. You are in charge of the adoption process every step of the way. When you choose to place your child for adoption, you will always be the one with the final say when it comes to different aspects of your adoption process. This includes choosing an adoptive family for your baby, deciding what kind of contact you want with them, determining what your hospital stay will be like and more.
19. You can complete the adoption process from anywhere in Kansas or Missouri. We work with expectant mothers from all across the state. Whether you live in a big city, a small town or the middle of the countryside, you can reach your adoption specialist whenever you need her and complete the adoption process whenever you’re ready. Aside from your hospital stay and any in-person meetings you schedule with adoption service providers or the adoptive family you choose, most of the adoption process can be completed from your home (or wherever you’re most comfortable).
20. You can start the adoption process right away. No matter where you are in your pregnancy, if you contact us, an adoption specialist will help you start the process as soon as you are ready. They will take your information, start sending you adoptive family profiles and help you move forward with the process as soon as possible (you always have the chance to change your mind about your decision).
Though the adoption is official and permanent after placement and the legal termination of parental rights have occurred, the birth mother will never forget or cease to be affected by the adoption process. Even when there is virtual certainty that adoption was the right thing to do, it remains a difficult and emotional process for many birth mothers. Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri will be with you through the entire process and ensure you are well informed, confident, and comfortable with your adoption choices.