Imagine you’re a birth mother placing her child for adoption. You are about to meet the prospective adoptive parents for the first time. You may be nervous, you may be excited. Maybe it’s a combination of both. One thing you are probably thinking of is what will the prospective adoptive parents need to know about me.
The same holds true when you are meeting an adoption counselor at an adoption agency for the first time. Your adoption counselor is sure to have plenty of questions for you. In fact, this is part of the screening process for most adoption agencies. It is understandable to wonder what they want to know and how to answer their questions.
There is no magic list of things adoptive parents or adoption agencies will want to know about birth parents. There is also no magic way to answer the questions. However, prospective adoptive parents and adoption agencies will want to know some key facts. Here are a few questions that you should expect to hear from either an adoption agency or prospective adoptive parents.
1. Your medical history
Depending on whether you are in an open, semi-open, or closed adoption, adoptive families will want to know about your medical history. Specifically, in an open adoption, you can expect to receive at least one question about your medical history. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, just make sure to answer openly and honestly.
2. Your current life situation
Prospective adoptive parents and adoption agencies will want to know a bit more about your current life circumstances. This way, they can gauge your commitment to the adoption and make an informed decision on whether to enter into an adoption plan with you. Again, the best way to answer these questions is to be honest about your situation. Bad life circumstances won’t prevent you from placing your child for adoption. There is an adoptive family out there for every child.
3. Who you are as a person
Prospective adoptive parents and adoption agencies will also want to know more about who you are. They are not trying to be nosey, they are just curious. Whether you are a social butterfly or a homebody, they are sure to be interested in what you have to say.
4. Any substance abuse issues
It is important to disclose any substance abuse issues you may have to both the adoption agency and the prospective adoptive parents. Disclosing them will not prevent you from placing your child for adoption. However, disclosing these issues will help get you the help you need to stay clean throughout your pregnancy.
5. The birth father
Another common question to expect is who the birth father is and whether he plans to be involved in the adoption process. This question is important because some birth fathers will want to be involved in the adoption process or in the child’s life after the adoption occurs. Adoptive parents and adoption agencies will want to know his planned level of involvement so they can create an adoption plan that incorporates him if he so desires.
6. Anything else you may want to share
Sometimes, a prospective adoptive parent or an adoption counselor will ask you an open ended question to see what you feel should be shared with them. This is your opportunity to open up about anything you feel may be important to the adoption process. It will also allow you to share anything that you think is crucial for the wellbeing of your child before and after the adoption.
At the end of the day, there is no way to predict what questions you will receive from prospective adoptive parents or adoption agencies. The best tip to make the most of these meetings is to be open and honest regardless of the questions. This means disclosing the good and bad, including any substance abuse issues or any issues that may affect your safety. Being honest will help you provide the best life for your child. For more information, visit Adoption Choices of Missouri or call or text us at: 816-527-9800.