Ways to Celebrate Birth Fathers on Father’s Day
With Father’s Day this weekend, you may be thinking about ways to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day. Typically Father’s Day overlooks birth fathers and their significance, but they too should be celebrated and acknowledged. Celebrating birth fathers on Father’s Day can look different for everyone. Some may have a tradition they share with loved ones, or some may do something individually to celebrate the day. Regardless of the form of celebration on Father’s Day, Adoption Choices of Missouri recognizes the importance of birth fathers as they have brought life into the world and will forever be a part of their child.
When a birth father is not present in a child’s life, it can be a challenge to answer questions the child may ask on Father’s Day about his or her birth father. Focus on the positive impact the birth father has had on the child, even if the child has no contact with him. Having open conversations with the child about his or her birth father helps deal with and express emotions they have. It can be encouraging for the adoptee to know that his or her birth father made the brave decision to give them life through choosing their adoptive family. That selfless choice alone is something to be celebrated and cherished on Father’s Day.
Let’s talk about ways to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day that you can do as a family or individually:
1) Establish a Tradition
One way to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day is by establishing a yearly tradition. To create a tradition, you may think of an activity or of a place that the birth father enjoys or goes to often. If you have limited information about the birth father, that’s okay. You can still begin the unique tradition by asking the child of a special activity or place he or she would like.
For instance, as a family, you can go to the beach or lake, go for a bike ride, or build something together, such as the adoptee’s family tree. The important thing to remember is to have fun with the tradition and make memories that you can look back on in the coming years.
2) Communicate with a Birth Father
Another great way to celebrate is by communicating with the birth father through a letter, card or phone call. This can be a great way to honor a birth father on Father’s Day, particularly in an open adoption. The adoptive child may be able to express their feelings easier by writing a note to him or talking to him on the phone.
Having the child get his or her feelings out on paper or through talking can benefit their r understanding of Father’s Day overall. It can also mean a great deal to the birth father to hear from the child, as it can help him positively reaffirm the decision he made. A gesture of acknowledgment from the adopted child and family to the birth father can go a long way for everyone involved in the adoption journey.
3) Increase Recognition of Birth Fathers
Make Father’s Day an opportunity to discuss with your family the role of birth fathers. Directly answering questions, an adoptee may have can benefit his or her misunderstanding of the significance of birth parents. You can also read other birth parents’ stories or listen to podcasts to broaden and strengthen your perspective and awareness that birth parents’ existence is important. Using positive language in your discussions with your family about a birth father to appreciate him even if he is unknown to the adoptee, can help to increase recognition. Having conversations may also bring your family closer together as you learn and celebrate birth fathers throughout the lifelong adoption journey.
4) Celebrate In Your Own Way(s)
It is important to remember to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day in ways that are most comfortable for the adoptee and his or her adoptive family. There is no requirement to celebrate a birth father who is not present or known to the child, especially if it brings about unnecessary pain. However you want to or not want to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day is completely fine.
It is also significant to remember that one cannot simply define what a father is. The choice you make to celebrate or not celebrate a birth father on Father’s Day does not discredit his fatherhood journey. One of the best things you can do on Father’s Day is to show that you care for the fathers in your life in the ways you want to, whether big or small.
Ways to Celebrate Birth Fathers on Father’s Day
Whichever ways you choose to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day, know that a birth father is a valuable part of a child just as much as an adoptive father even if they are not present. A birth father brought your child into the world and directly or indirectly committed to adoption, giving a child a chance to have the best possible life and for a family to be complete.
Let’s honor all birth fathers every year for their positive impact on a child, and for embracing the beautiful choice of adoption.
To all of the important fathers and father figures: Happy Father’s Day!
Adoption Choices of Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071
Meet the Author: Melissa Benedek is currently a junior at Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. She is a Literature major with interest in American regional writing. One of her on-campus jobs focuses on organizing volunteer opportunities with local partnerships for students. She is also a founding editor of Sonnet Literary Magazine based out of her college campus.
When not focused on academics, Melissa enjoys traveling into New York City to support independent bookstores and buy the best cookies at Levain Bakery.