The Top 8 Common Questions that Birth Mothers have about Adoption

As an expectant woman facing an unplanned pregnancy in Missouri, you might be facing an uncertain future with your baby and be scared or apprehensive about the whole situation, which is normal. You might not know where to go or even have questions about your next steps and whether or not adoption is the right fit or choice for you.

Adoption Choices of Missouri is ready to step with you in this uncertain future, and we have put together a list of questions of somecommon questions that birth mothers have about adoption:

1. Why should I choose adoption?

Having an unplanned pregnancy is scary, and, at this moment, you are probably faced with a lot of different choices to make. Adoption itself is a healthy alternative to other options that are out there, because it is important for you to want the best life possible for your child.

Choosing adoption gives you lifelong joy in seeing your child grow up in a loving household. It also lifts any burdens from your shoulders that you might have of your child growing up in a different environment than you did.

2. Is there anyone who can help me understand my decision and correctly deal with my child’s loss?

Adoption is never an easy choice in the first place. It can be hard and difficult, but we are here for you and will provide you with counseling and support if needed. You will have an adoption specialist who will be available to you at all times.

It is important to surround yourself with a support system outside of Adoption Choices of Missouri. This can include your family, your partner or spouse or anyone else that you consider to be trustworthy enough to support you during this time.

3. Do I have the right to choose the adoptive family?

You definitely have the right to choose the family who will adopt your baby. In fact, it is encouraged or required that prospective adoptive parents create a scrapbook full of information about their lives, which contains pictures and stories. This will give you a glimpse of who they are and what kind of life they could provide for your baby.

Often, prospective adoptive parents will also include a special section dedicated to the birth mother, explaining why they are a good candidate and sharing additional information about their lives, such as their likes, dislikes and more.

4. How do I know that my child will be raised in a safe environment if I choose adoption?

It is good to be concerned about the well being of your child even after adoption. At Adoption Choices of Missouri, the prospective adoptive parents go through a large amount of background checks. They are interviewed by social workers and are carefully screened.

It is always a possibility that the prospective adoptive parents can’t have any children, even if they want children. So, adoption is always an opportunity for them to show your child all the love that he or she deserves. Children are always a blessing — your child included.

5. Will the adoption agency be able to help me with my financial needs? 

Adoption Choices of Missouri will help you find the assistance you need to pay all the medical bills. First, if there are any medical bills that are not provided by your medical insurance or the state funds, the adoptive family will take care of that. Second, we will help you with living expenses. We understand how difficult it is to return to work after giving birth. Third, your caseworker will help you find transportation to your doctor appointments and get your prescriptions. If there is anything else that you need help with (i.e. getting groceries), your caseworker will be more than happy to work with you on that.

6. Can I still see my baby even after the adoption is over?

This greatly depends on what kind of adoption plan you chose. For instance, if you choose to do an open adoption, you will have the opportunity to maintain contact with the adoptive family and your child. This could include virtual communication, phone calls or in person visits.

Be sure to discuss this with your caseworker and the adoptive parents prior to your baby’s birth, so that you will know what to expect after the adoption has finalized. The adoption process, overall, is a very emotional and complex one; but, it’s better to have a plan in place early on before everything is heightened during the birth and delivery process.

7. Will my child resent or hate me for choosing adoption?

This is a very valid and common concern birth mothers have when placing their baby for adoption. So, it’s very natural and there’s no shame or guilt in wanting to ask it. If you need help processing the emotions associated with this worry, our adoption counselors can offer you a confidential, safe and non judgemental environment to do so.

Back in the 1980’s, there are stories of adoptees who were not told of their adoptions properly and struggled with self-esteem and identity issues as they grew up. However, in the last three decades, more and more former adoptees have opened up about their adoptions and have expressed gratefulness to their birth parents for doing the right thing. In addition, our agency encourages open adoption, as it allows your child to learn right way about you and where they came from, eliminating the questions and struggles as they develop.

8. What if my friends and family don’t understand why I’m giving up my baby for adoption?

If none of your friends or family understand why you’re choosing to place your baby for adoption, you could give them a brief explanation of your reasons. That you feel this is the best decision for both of you. Unfortunately, there’s a social stigma surrounding adoption and birth mothers “giving up” their babies. People seem threatened by what they don’t understand. But, thanks to changes the adoption industry has made, it’s become more common and less stigmatized.

Your child’s adoption can also serve as an opportunity for your friends and family to learn about how adoption works. Your caseworker can talk with your family and friends and help them understand what is going on.

Navigating the Common Questions that Birth Mothers have about Adoption

As a birth mother, the future can seem uncertain and terrifying, but Adoption Choices in Missouri is here to help you answer any questions that you might have. Whether it has to do with financial assistance or other concerns, please feel free to come to us for help. We understand how hard it is for you to feel alone during this time and want to help you navigate through these troubled waters.

Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 1-877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at (816) 527-9800; in Kansas call or text us at (316) 209 2071

Meet the Author: Sofia Becker is currently a student at Liberty University and is majoring in a Bachelor of Science in History with a double minor in Biblical Studies and writing. She is currently working on a Robin Hood retelling and an entire epic fantasy world in the making. In her spare time, she loves watching The Officeand Disney movies.

Through her blogs, and her passion for helping and encouraging others, she hopes to make a difference in someone’s life. She also looks forward to becoming a better writer and editor. To learn more about Sofia, be sure to check out her blog and Instagram.