Pros and Cons of Open Adoption in Missouri and Kansas

Since the 1970s, open adoption has increasingly been the norm for adoptive families and birth mothers. What is open adoption? Learn more herefirst. It is widely regarded as the most prosperous and enriching adoption choice. If you are a birth mother considering adoption for your child, you may wonder why open adoption is as popular and beneficial as it is. Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri is here to show what exactly makes it so attractive, and what makes it unattractive too.

Here are some of the pros and cons of open adoption.

Cons of Open Adoption

• You may Experience Grief/Regret after the Adoption Process

It is all too common for birth mothers to experience some sort of sadness when first going through the workings of adoption. You may come across some symptoms of regret or reconsider whether you chose the right family. You might even question your own judgement of whether you should have put your baby up for adoption in the first place.

These symptoms can be amplified with open adoption because during the negotiating of terms, birth mothers may think of all the potential opportunities that may miss in seeing their baby grow up. With such an open channel of communication, there may still be some type of distance there because the mother no longer has the child in their care.

If you experience any of these things, know you are not alone. It is natural to potentially have some sort of sadness when a birth mother goes through adoption. Find strength and solace in knowing that you are going to give your child a brighter and better future, you still get to witness it. 

• You have so Much Power, It can be Overwhelming

When deciding on the family dynamics, how communication will work, and the adoptive parents, birth mothers may find themselves in a hauntingly complicated situation. The stress or worry of picking the right family can be overwhelming for birth mothers. Decisions and negotiations that are riding on your input and your thoughts can be beyond stressful and draining.

Open adoption is meant to bring a balance of involvement for both the birth mother or birth parents andthe adoptive parents. All through that process, a discussion or compromise has to to be reached where both are satisfied with the choices they’ve made.

Despite that, remember, it is still your baby and still your right on how selection happens.

• You may Run into some Boundary Issues

We discussed giving birth parents and adoptive parents open lines of communication, but where exactly do either of them potentially cross the line? Birth mothers may feel they still hold some sort of responsibility or power that is within their power to have that the adoptive parents may disagree with. For instance, she may want to take their child out for their birthday, on a vacation, or to see relatives. Yet, the adoptive family already planned to keep the child home and have a party for them.

Pros of Open Adoption

• Open Adoption allows You to Stay in Your Baby’s Life

The majority of birth mothers want to see their child grow up. They still crave to be a part of his or her life. With open adoption, you have the choice to do exactly that. Negotiation and deliberation between you and the adoptive parents decides exactly how that will look. You are always in control of what the terms are and whatever you feel is comfortable.

It is your baby and it is your right to choose what you think is best for them and for you. 

• You have Full Control on What the Adoption will Look Like

Every birth mother wants to be reassured that their baby will be in safe care. They want to know that their child is getting treated with nothing but the best and given the space and environment to grow up happy and healthy. Open adoption gives mothers and birth parents that same opportunity to set the stage on what that looks like. You have the power to shape the coming years of your baby’s life.

You can vet and screen every family you think is best for your child. Nothing happens without your approval.

• You can Answer Questions Your Child may have in the Future

For the majority of adoptees, they want to know where they have come from. They want to know who their birth mother and birth father is. Origin stories and the participation of birth mothers go hand in hand here. With you being there to give answers to possible questions your child has, their puzzle of identity becomes more whole. Children are able to build a sense of belonging and what that will look like for their birth parents and their adoptive parents.

Being there and present adds a level of comfort for your child to help them understand more about family history. They are curious, inquisitive. That is healthy. They may even ask why they were put up for the adoption. Instead of leaving these questions unanswered, you will be right there to provide the truths they need.

Pros and Cons of Open Adoption

Situations like these, where possible disagreements may arise between the birth and the adoptive parents are common. This is why communicating with each other about what life will look like after the adoption is finalized is important.But even in the face of disagreement,both sides always have the best interest of the baby in mind. 

If you have any lingering questions about the pros and cons of open adoption, feel free to navigate over to our FAQ’s page and see what other assistance Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri can provide for you and child today.

Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more! Call us toll free at 877-903-4488 or, in Missouri call or text us at 1-816-527-9800

Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. Alexander shares his birthday with Maya Angelou, which he takes great pride in.

Growing up, Alexander had the privilege of having both parents in his life and a stable upbringing in which he was surrounded by family and friends. He believes that much of his family foundation is built on faith which has given him a discipline and practice that has allowed him to discover and build his spiritual self. He is also interested in politics and worldly news that allows him to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning.

From that, his passion in writing bloomed and he found his true calling: “I wished to create and write for a living and know it will be what makes me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.”