A Birth Mother’s Guide to Her Last Minute Adoption in Kansas and Missouri
During the last nine months, you decided to carry out your pregnancy, unplanned or planned, and accepted taking on the role of being a mother. But when the day of your child’s delivery finally comes and you begin to go into labor, reality hits hard. You come to an uncomfortable and overwhelming realization: you’re not ready to be a mom. Maybe you’ve recently found yourself falling on hard economic times, and you know you will not have the sufficient means to provide for your child. Perhaps you face an abusive or toxic environment at home, and you can’t imagine putting the safety of your child at risk. You could have been recently recovering from physical or mental illness, and you no longer feel stable enough to bring a baby into your life. Whatever your unique situation may be, your instincts are telling you that you will need to reevaluate your decision to raise your child.
Even if it’s clear to you that you aren’t ready for parenthood, you might start to worry whether it’s too late to consider adoption as the baby is coming any day or any moment. However, not only is it not too late to consider adoption, but it’s also not too late to finalize the adoption and have the adoptive family leave the hospital with your child. As a birth mother, a last minute adoptionis a viable option for you. At any point during your hospital stay, you have the right to choose to place your baby for adoption. If you are feeling isolated or worried about placing your child for adoption while at the hospital, rest assured that your situation is very common, and you don’t need to feel alone in the decision you’ve made.
If you realize shortly before or during your hospital stay that being a mother is not the best option for you or your child at this time and you want to explore other options, Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri can provide you with support and assistance you need to make an informed decision.
Your Adoption Process (Sped Up)
When thinking about the adoption process as a birth mother, you might envision a lengthy process taking place during the majority of your pregnancy. Since you made your decision much further into your pregnancy, you might worry that you will have to skip over steps you would normally take along the way. In reality, you can expect to take the same steps that a more typical adoption process would entail. The main difference will be that the process will be condensed into a tighter time period.
Step 1: Contact an adoption agency
Adoption agencies are frequently contacted by birth mothers who are seeking a last minute adoption, so be assured that they are well-equipped to facilitate your adoption process and answer any questions that you have. Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri is no exception to this. At this stage, a licensed professional from the agency will help you design your adoption plan as well as provide any necessary counseling. As part of your adoption plan, you can determine whether you want an open, semi-open, or closed adoption based on how much contact you want with your baby and the adoptive family. You can also get an idea of what kind of lifestyle factors you would like to see in your baby’s family such as location, parenting styles, religion or spirituality, LGBT status, family size, and much more.
Step 2: Select a family
Even though you won’t have as much time to select your child’s adoptive family, the good news is that you still have many options to choose from. Our adoption agency works with many families who are eagerly waiting to welcome home a baby who needs them. Your adoption specialist can provide you with an abundance of information on each of the adoptive families, as well as access to their profiles so that you can determine who will be the best fit for your baby. All of these families have been pre-screened as part of a thorough, investigative process to ensure a safe and stable placement. If, for whatever reason, you would prefer to be less involved in the selection process, it’s perfectly okay to hand more control over to our adoption agency to select your child’s adoptive family for you.
Step 3 (optional): Meet the family
Your baby’s new family will be contacted once you or our agency has selected them. They may live in the same city or town as you, or they could be across the country. No matter the distance, they are prepared to receive a call at any time and from any location. They likely have a plan in place when the time comes. Upon the family’s arrival, you can take this opportunity to get to know them a little better or you may have an opportunity to speak with them over the phone beforehand. However, you can also opt to not have any contact with them if you are more comfortable with that.
Step 4: Finalize the adoption
As the adoption process comes to a close, you will need to give your final consent to relinquish your legal rights and responsibilities to the adoptive parents. The adoption specialist you’ve been working with will assist you through signing all the necessary paperwork to complete your child’s adoption. Once everything is finalized, your baby will be able to go home with his or her new family.
Step 5: Post-placement support
Going through a last minute adoptioncan be a hectic and emotional experience even if you are satisfied with your decision. It’s natural for you to go through the grieving process during this time. After everything settles and you have time to process your experience, you may find comfort and closure through professional counseling services. If you are a birth mother in Kansas, Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri can provide you with these services to help you obtain the peace you seek.
Be Confident in Your Decision
Whether you have nine months or a matter of minutes to decide to place your child for adoption, it’s almost always a hard decision to make. Know that through your loving choice, you are giving your child the best shot at life you can give at this time. Plus, you are giving another family the gift of life that they might not have been able to achieve on their own.
If at any point during your pregnancy you think adoption might be the best route for you and your child, contact Adoption Choices of Kansas and Missouri for further guidance.
Meet the Author: Mary DeStefanois an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.
Mary finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.