After the adoption – What to Expect (as a birth mother)

You’ve spent so much time preparing for the adoption. Nine months of doctors appointments and meetings with adoptive parents, not to mention the pregnancy itself. You then rushed to the hospital to give birth to your child, only to place him for adoption just days later. Now what. What will life be like after the formal adoption? Is my adoption journey truly over? What should I expect? These are just some of the questions you may be thinking as a birth mother who just placed their child for adoption. Let’s take a minute to discuss what to expect after an adoption if you are a birth mother.

Life After Adoption

Life after adoption is an important part of the adoption process for birth mothers. The most important thing to know about life after the adoption is that is a unique experience for everyone. In other words, your experiences as a birth mother depend on numerous factors. No two birth mothers will have the exact same post-adoption experience. Nevertheless, there are some common threads worth considering when discussing life after an adoption.

Life after an adoption begins with the finalization of the relinquishment paperwork and the formal adoption of your child by the adoptive parents. At this point, its natural to have strong emotions about the experience. It’s common for birth mothers to even question the decision to place their child for adoption immediately after the adoption takes place. This is completely normal. Moreover, it is completely normal to feel a sense of grief or loss after placing your child for adoption.

This is why adoption agencies provide post-placement counseling or referrals to counselors as part of their post-placement support for birth mothers. Your adoption counselor is also available to provide support and periodic check ins. She can also refer you to a post-placement counselor to provide additional support if you feel that is needed.

You can also expect to have some contact with your child after the adoption is finalized. This largely depends on whether you chose an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, or a closed adoption. For example, in open adoptions, birth mothers sometimes have the option to maintain direct contact with their children as they grow up. This could even involving meeting your child on an occasional basis to see how they are doing as they grow up.

If you chose a semi-open adoption, you can expect to have indirect contact with your child using your adoption agency as an intermediary as he or she grows up. You may even interact with your child in a closed adoption, albeit as an adult. This is because in the adoptee in a closed adoption can open his or her adoption records as an adult. It is always possible that your child will seek you out to find out more about you and why you placed him or her for adoption.

As the days turn into weeks and months, you can also expect to slowly but surely resume your life as it was before you began your adoption journey. For example, some birth mothers go back to school. Others resume their jobs or start a new career. Others decide to raise their own families. Others use their adoption journey as an opportunity to get a fresh start in life. It all depends on what you want to do with your life.

So, there you have it. You can expect to have a unique experience based on your own individual circumstances after the adoption. You may feel a strong range of emotions immediately after the adoption. You may also remain in contact with your child as he or she grows up. Finally, you will get the chance to resume your life before your pregnancy. For more information, visit Adoption Choices of Missouri  or call or text us at 1-877-903-4488